A Bunch Of Ali Wong Jokes For When You’re Sick Of Society’s Unrealistic Standards For Women

If you haven’t watched Ali Wong’s new Netflix special, Hard Knock Wife, you gotta get going. This is the *second* time she’s performed *very* pregnant — which is truly epic.

(Viewer beware: NSFW doesn’t even begin to prepare you for her level of amazing vulgarity.)

If Ali Wong looks different than your typical standup comedian, that’s because she is.

Not only does she is she from Chinese and Vietnamese heritage, not only is she a woman, but she’s visibly more than 7 months pregnant in both of her hit Netflix specials.

Because of her identity, she is the perfect person to take some massive swings at the status quo — and we are here for it.

We all have a love/hate relationships with societal “ideals” — and there’s no shame in that. Even those of us who love to put on a full face before heading out the door can admit that the patriarchy is not not involved in that decision.

That’s why we love Ali Wong. She keeps it oh-so real when it comes to body image, beauty, and womanhood and her cathartic musings bust through those daily grinds of hegemony.

So in celebration of her amazing new Netflix special, we’ve surfaced some of the best Ali Wong jokes — old and new — for anyone dealing with society’s unrealistic standards.

Although a lot of the jokes in “Hard Knock Wife” deal with the deepest taboos about motherhood, she tackles plenty more issues that any woman can relate to.

Here’s some of our favorite responses to those modern day gripes we know so well:

When society asks you if you’re “comfortable” being the breadwinner…

Ali doesn’t make it a secret that she had some significant fiscal expectations from her Harvard Business School grad husband. But just because their supposed gender roles have flipped doesn’t mean he should feel threatened.

 

When you don’t know if you can take one more “balancing family and career” question…

Do you know why men never get asked this question? Ali does.

When you still don’t have access to maternity leave…

It’s insane that we expect women to just snap back into action after going through such a challenging ordeal. Maternity leave isn’t just about the baby’s health, but the mom’s health, too!


Speaking of demolished-ass bodies…

When someone asks about your body after the baby…

Weight and body shape is always an issue after a pregnancy — either you’re not losing enough of it, or lost too much of it. In Ali’s new special, she uses everyone’s favorite children’s book to explain what really happens.

Ali goes into deep detail about the many physically and emotionally painful parts of motherhood that you rarely hear in the mainstream. For the longest time, they were things you “just didn’t talk about” — which is just another stigma Ali blasts through in her work.

Now for some of our favorites we found elsewhere:

When someone asks you if you’re having more kids…

We love Ellen, but when she asked Ali if she was interested in having more kids, we couldn’t help but think about how it’s probably something a lot of moms are sick of hearing. That’s when “Ali’s mantra” can be useful…

When you’re frustrated about women still not being accepted as sexual beings…

A few years ago, a reporter asked Ali about the shelf life of her skits. She shared her “oldest joke” that she still has in rotation — and it ended up being about the oldest past time known to man.

It probably never fails because not only can any woman relate — it’s also just nice to hear it normalized! Many other female artists are in this space, but Ali’s jokes have an almost conspicuous lack of shame or apology. Nice.

When yet another dude makes a joke about women not being as bare as Barbies…

For this skit from 2012, you really need to hear her, so take a sec and enjoy her incredible renditions of both the “Chia Pet” theme song and a familiar tune from Mary Poppins.

(As well as an Angela Lansbury reference anyone with glasses can relate to.)

Got your own favorite Ali Wong jokes?

Let us know in the comments or tag us on social! Because even though we love beauty or self-care, sometimes we just need to laugh about how ridiculous our world can be.

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